my foot on the gas
a road in the dark
take care of your steps
watch out where you walk

and get out of my way
cause I am driving blind
I will hit you hard and then leave you behind

and yes I know
life's ugly and kind
I will smash your skull and then leave you behind hide

my fingers are dry leaves that fall from my hands
my body is frail like an autumn timberland
dropped my claws and teeth as I dropped my defense
I have no more questions, I have no demands

my mind is a wasteland invaded by you
make it your kingdom, worth travelling through
chop the trees, clear the country, leave a permanent trace
it could make this land a nicer place

turned on the heating, locked up the door
it's the same old pattern as the years before
alas, little hedgehog, say, when will you learn
that your bristles won't save you when your demons return?

I should change my old habits, put on my new shoes
and walk towards and not away from you
but my mind is a wasteland and I lost the map,
couldn't you be a compass to guide my steps?

like birches in autumn I shiver and wilt
my reason's the foliage, the trunk is my guilt
cut it down and to pieces and set me to flames
make the brightest of fires out of my remains

and I will burn for you
and warm your frozen feet
and I will burn for you

I'll burn for you
and melt your frozen feet
I'll burn for you hide

it was a long way south
to the endlessly stretching desert
I've got dust in my mouth
and a sting in my chest

and now I have no use
for what I had seemed to need
I've got sand in my shoes
and an endless silence in my heart

and it's a long way home
but I'll never really get there
for the one coming back isn't me anymore,
not the same as before but someone
who has learned to fall and get up after all. hide

this is the wind calling inviting me out knocking 'gainst my window, whispering 'play with me please please and glittering flakes falling from heavy white clouds all that was grey turns white again and sets my mind at ease

but I don't dare leaving the house tonight and i don't care what you say - I will stay inside but I don't dare leaving the house tonight and i don't care what you say, it is safer inside

none of my friends calling to ask what I do I could answer I'm crossing their names off the list in my heart and spend most of the day scrawling weepy letters to you only then to grab the paper and tear it apart

I don't dare leaving the house tonight and i don't care what you say I will stay inside I don't dare leaving the house this week and i don't care what you offer: it's not what I seek

this is the wind blowing the tiles off of my roof, howling 'you can't hide in there forever, my dear!' I crawl under the bed, knowing I can't yet unable to move listen wind, it's oh so warm and safe in here

and I don't dare leaving the house tonight and i don't care what you say I will stay inside and I don't plan on leaving the house this year. if by then you still remember me you'll find me here hide

I count the falling leaves
and feed my disbelief
with every grain of sand
that's coming down

let time lapse away
let hours add up to days
while the rain outside
comes pouring down

the clocks are not my friends
they wave their wispy hands
but everything looks static
in this town

and days add up to weeks
what is it that I seek?
a straw a hand a hold

while I'm slipping down hide

I stand and watch the chairoplane spinning 'round and 'round all the happy passengers fly high above the ground

how I'd love to take a ride
but I'm wishing for the worst:
that the chain might break, the seat might slide
and let me fall and burst


I stand and watch the aeroplanes rise high above the town there's things to be explored out there, there's treasures to be found

but if I was to take a plane -
my greatest wish would be
to fly into a hurricane
and drown in the deep blue sea


and when I go to sleep at night I dream of forks and knives and all the other pretty tools to end a sappy life

like bikes and trains and rubber bands,
' til one day I'll have found
the perfect little accident
to make me bite the ground hide

don't you see my eyepatch and the parrot on my shoulder?
don't you see the broadsword on my belt?

I don't plan on staying in this bay
I'm gonna take what I need and sail away
I heard that's what pirates do.

my ship doesn't need no anchor
my crew doesn't need no rest
my life doesn't need no other
there's a rock inside my chest

don't you see my pegleg and the tattooes on my shoulder?
it's a prove that I can't be your friend

you should keep shady folks like me at bay
I'm gonna take what I need and sail away
'cause that's what pirates do

I don't need no hidden treasures
I don't need no gems and gold
if you cut apart my ribcage
what you'll find is rough and cold

my ship doesn't need no anchor
my crew doesn't need no rest
my life doesn't need no other
there's a rock inside my chest hide

when you were young
and full of life
for so many virtuous goals you'd strive

eager to grow
and to explore
a world unseen

where did you go?
where did I lose your track?
where did you go?
and when will you be back?

past things will fade
and rot and rust
as your high ideals turn to dust

when did you lose
your will to live
what whas the mistake you could not forgive?

where did you go?
what made you run away?
where did you go?
what caused your dismay?

where did you go?
where did I lose your track?
I miss you so
will you be coming back? hide

if this is your answer to the things that I said
I don't understand, but nevermind,
as long as you had a good time
as long as you don't regret
etching my name into your head

see, I'm made out of paper,
being carried away by
the slightest breeze

downwind I tumble
I will rest where I fall
so I beg you:
please
don't hold me
don't try to unfold me
I told you, I told you that I couldn't stay
I'm being carried away

hold back, hold back
I can't hold back
you know what I mean, so don't blame me, I lack
the strength to withstand, the strength to step back

see, I'm made out of paper,
being carried away by
the slightest breeze

downwind I tumble
I will rest where I fall
so I beg you:
please
don't shove me
don't tell me you love me
I will promise you nothing except that I will
promise you nothing I cannot fulfill hide

when you bit me you should have bitten harder
so that the little marks of your teeth in my flesh
would have had to remain there ever after
reminders of your laughter of shining ivory

to get tangled in your stare
run my fingers through your hair
to get wrapped around you finger that you'd run through mine
was foolish but it felt so fine...

what is left is some paper scraps with pictures
a wrinkled yellow shirt and a sting in my chest
curly hairs that I lost there on your blanket
the salt from tears that I shed when you were fast asleep

even this will not remain
time will wash it down the drain
to get wrapped around your finger, get lost in your eyes
was foolish but it felt so nice

no, the souvenirs I kept
can't disguise that it's inept.
to get wrapped around your finger as you took my hand
was foolish but it felt so grand

was that all you were looking for?
was I your lover or your whore?
you got me wrapped around your finger, you disarmed me, dear..
so will you keep some part of me sincere....? hide

something left me as the chlorophyll left the leaves
I put my hand on my chest just to feel if I still breathe

and yes, it slowly rises as I inhale
but the air tastes stale

it was still dark this morning when I awoke
from a dream in which I thought I would choke
my neck was swollen, I was gasping for air
something blocked my throat so I gave way to despair

and I coughed and I retched
and I bent and I stretched
to get this thing out
and suddenly I felt a lump of feathers fill my mouth

and a little grey bird came to lie in my palm
covered in spit but all healthy and calm
and sang me songs 'til sleep came over me
but after my awakening it was nowhere to see
(So I must have dreamt.
Or did it fly away?)

but now whenever I have just one moment to rest
I try to hear a hint of beating wings in my chest

for now that the flapping is gone
I noticed it had been there all along
and now that I know what was that beat
I know that I will never feel complete
again hide

while you were asleep
I took a waterproof pen
and wrote a hidden note onto your mellow skin saying:

I was here.
I have touched these limbs and for an instant this body was all mine

but as skin is chafed and skin is shed
the letters fade away
I won't have left a single mark on you
but it's okay as long as I know

I was here:
I have touched these limbs and for an instant I wished you were mine

and even if there's nothing else I could have left behind
I hope that you will leastwise bear my traces on your mind
(as I bear yours on mine)

I know I'll never know the feelings you didn't show
and what you hide below your beautiful shell
hide

the spiders have surrounded my house
they guard every window

weaving gossamer veils to cloak the panes
drawing silky threads across my door
to keep me safe in here

we'll weave you a garmet
we'll weave you a home
we'll weave you a veil to cover your pale face
your bloodless face

how could I complain?
their narcotic bites
they keep me from all pain

and in this apathy
I am truly free

we'll weave you a shelter
we'll weave you a coat
we'll weave you a noose to strangle your desire
to strangle your fear hide

I can feel the spikes again
protruding through my skin
so will you keep your distance please
or you might make the acquaintance of the hedgehog in me

I'm losing grip again
I'm giving way again
I'm losing ground again
the ground gives way
again

and it was nice to see the sun
and lie stretched out in its rays
but something drags me underground
makes me want to burrow deep
the mole in me claims to know better

I'm losing grip again
I'm giving way again
I'm losing ground again
the ground gives way
again

don't you worry, don't you fret
when I am acting strange
I'm just some funny animal
that struggles, bites and bolts and hides
and shys away and spends the day
in doubt of everything

I'm losing grip again
I'm giving way again
I'm losing ground again
the ground gives way
again
hide

had not seen those clouds roll in
how could they gather so unobtrusively and fast?

rain, rain down on me, soak through my skin
rain, rain down on me......

I caught the rain with my hands
felt it run down my face
saw it drip from my wrists
to the ground to seep away

it leaves me standing soaked and confused

the heavy clouds rip open
to reveal the brighest sky
the sparkling drops evaporate
leaving my dry....

there is salt on my cheeks
there's a tremor in my chest
and nothing else reminds me...
but I know I saw
colors across the sky hide

spent almost half the night
at the construction site
smiling mysteriously

the weather keeps changing
the world keeps deranging me -
is this the way it should be?

and all I can do
is to stand next to you
with a frown and a lopsided grin

this is the city
and this is the body
and this is the mess that I'm in

we sway and we falter
we constantly alter
turn over and over and over again

we walk and we stumble
we constantly fumble
for words to obscure and for words to explain

cast the yellowed postcards away
leave the house at least once a day
don't let the monsters lead you astray
and leave the house at least once a day
be the weather dark as it may
leave the house at least once a day... hide

it is nice to know you, I'm glad that we've met you've been really kind (and I hope you don't regret it yet) you could have become my brother, you could have become my friend but I cannot stand such kindness.. I'll better bring this to an end
before I start to sabotage you
before I start to watch us drift apart

your friendship is a treasure so precious to me that rather than to lose it I would have it dumped at sea you could have become my brother, you could have become my friend but I would only disappoint you so let's bring this to an end
before I start to sabotage you
before I start to watch us drift apart

the me that you know is always sweet and polite but another part emerges when I'm all alone at night this one's up to bring you down, yea this one's willing to destroy so run for cover, place no trust in me or I'll complicate you, boy

so run - beforel I start to sabotage you
run - before I start to complicate you
run - before I start to sabotage you
run - before I start to complicate you
I'll complicate you. hide

of course you can have my heart
I don't know how to use it anyway
I'll wrap it up in tissue paper
for you to keep it or throw it away

of course you can have my heart if you want:
just cut it loose and pull it out and leave
I'm glad if you take it away from me
this stupid thing caused nothing but mischief

of course you can have my heart, I beg you:
just take it and bury it some place
and I'll press my ear to the ground
to hear its trembling sound,
I will press my ear to the ground
to hear the muffled pounding
die away

this is a fragile body
it is made of flesh and bone
this is a fragile heart and
it is to be left alone

this is a barren body
it is made of wood and stone
this is a barren heart and
it is to be left alone
hide

you always were my refuge, were my shelter there was always a place to lay my head and I should've taken your hand, should've held it as we stumbled but I'd let it slip, I'd let it go instead

for I cannot give you as much as I owe you I don't have enough love to pay my debts I thought I'd have a plenty but now I see I'm pretty empty and the longer we linger the worse it gets

so I'll plant fences 'round my dwelling like a garden, wrap chains around my body like a cloak and bite my tongue not asking for forgiveness for the hearts and bones and promises I broke

don't you waste a tear for me
don't you waste your time with me
don't you waste yourself for me

...
don't.
hide

I've always liked to watch the sea,
its sight and sound are soothing me.
but I always preferred to keep a safe distance
for if I drew nearer the waves would swallow me
and pull my body down to the ground.
this heavy heart would make me sink like a stone and drown.

these waters are beautiful
but oh so unpredictable
and I am not sure if the welters are willing to carry me....
These waters are beautiful but presumably lethal
and I am too afraid to try (for I am too afraid.....)

"you don't have to be afraid" you said,
"just commit yourself to the elemental force,
it will lift you up, it will hold your head above the waves."
"but it's dragging me down", I said,
"I feel it dragging me down.... I will drown, I will drown!
It won't lift me up and you can't hold me, I am certainly bound to go down!"

these waters are beautiful
but oh so unpredictable
and I am not sure if the welters are willing to carry me....
These waters are beautiful but presumably lethal
and I am too afraid to try (for I am too afraid to die..)

then you pushed me into the water and I struggeled and furiously screamed, waiting for the waves to break above my head and take me down with them. But as I grew tired my movements got slower and I realized that my body was peacefully floating on the silent sea. That there were no billows rolling over me and I could devote myself so trustingly...
'Cause these waters would carry me.

I've always liked to watch the sea, its sight and sound are soothing me, though I always preferred to keep a safe distance
- but now I know I can swim. hide

did you really think that everything would be alright?
you should've known better
you could've known it's not right

smash all you have to pieces
for a tiny little spark,
for a glimpse of bliss, a fleeting light in the dark

I could've told you from the start
that this would make your whole world fall apart

remember you once swore to never play those games again
maybe keeping your promise could've kept you from going insane

but now this is what you get

I could've told you from the start
that this would make your whole world fall apart

and did you really think that everything would be just fine?
was it conscious denial or are you really that blind?

I hope you choke on your desires
hope you choke on your despair,
on your self-inflicted misery -
I really don't care

'cause I told you from the start:
this would make your whole world fall apart hide

you and I, we're merely shadows
and we will die away with the fading sun

and everything I see and everything I know will be forgotten tomorrow
and everything you say and everything I know, it will all vanish in time

like our footprints in the snow
your face will melt away... oh, I know

was it real or just an illusion
can I still feel your hands on my back...?

they should've left a trace
oh, they should have left a trace
and your face... your face...

like our footprints in the snow
your face will melt away... oh, I know

and everything I see and everything I know will be forgotten tomorrow
and everything you say and everything I know, it will all vanish in time hide

I lift my anchor and set my sails
heading for the infinite blue
not afraid to capsize, not afraid to drown
(for I already drowned in you)

I see floating empires and sunken realms
I dwell amongst the branchiate folks
mark the spot where I have lost my mind
with a small x on your treasure map...

and maybe someday you will find me there
(but for now I'm lost)

afloat adrift ashore hide

open the door
fear no more
knowing that sleep will lead you home

we'll keep you warm
fear no harm
knowing that sleep will lead you home

we'll rise and fall and then softly dissolve
into slumber we sink, into endless sedation
let it be done, let the others evolve
while we're numbing ourselves and our own aspiration
we'll tumble down not to ever wake up
whether grief comes to wake us or glorious elation
go down this road or it never may stop
and - what is life without your participation

knowing that sleep will lead you home

hide

I thought that you could be the ones
who take my hands and show me how to carry on
I thought with someone by my side life could be great
but I was wrong - and it's too late

I know there's hope beyond my fear
but for now I only wish to disappear
I thought that somebody could teach me how to speak
but I was wrong - and I'm too weak

and you may or may not understand:
home is where I buried my head in the sand

I know the problem and the cause:
I don't know when to speak and don't know when to pause
I must admit that this is not where I belong,
that I was wrong, I was wrong...

and you may or may not understand:
home is where I buried my head in the sand

I thought that you could be the ones
who take my hands and show me how to carry on
I thought with someone by my side life could be great
but I was wrong and it's too late
too late hide

I draw the curtains and go back to bed
the world is much too bright today

please don't wake me
I'm asleep

cotton wool surrounds me everywhere
muffles my perception every day

and oh, I wonder why should anybody care
and all I do is stay

please don't wake me
I'm asleep

I close the doors, withdrawing into my cocoon
I wave the world goodbye

my sleeping pills, they won't let me wake too soon
they make the time go by........ hide

there's a pain in my lungs
I would like to scream out
but there's something that keeps me from screaming
and there are days in this life
when I feel without doubt
that my insides are boiling and steaming

there's a fear in my eyes
that my tears won't wash out
and those tears won't be quenching my thirst
there are nights spent awake
'cause my heartbeat's so loud
that I wait for my ribcage to burst

there's a a pain in my head
I would like to knock out
but I can't cause my skull is a prison
there are days in this life
when I know without doubt
it's your love versus my egoism

there are mornings I wake
and all meaning is gone,
someone stole it away in my sleep
there are nights when I fear
nothing I've ever done
was quite worth it to fall this deep...

though I know that my surface
looks fragile and tender
my voice and my bones,
they are easy to break
I have no obvious thorns,
I'm just soft skin and flesh
but beneath all this,
there burns a fire

did you know that this body's a cage?
did you know beyond my smile there lies rage?
so here I am now repeating myself
'til the echoes wake me up
so here I am now repeating myself
'til the echoes wake me up
'til the echoes wake me up
the echoes break me hide

I lay in the grass in the garden
I lay in the grass like I did it as a child
counting the clouds that are drifting by

imagine they were little islands
made out of hope and of glue and cotton wool
a floating colony in the evening sky

guide me on my way into nowhere

what if I hijacked one of them?
what if I lived as friendly nomad in the sky
with a little bird and a violin?

it would carry me high into the mountains
it would carry me far, far across the sea
and erase all doubts I'm tangled in

could anybody tell me where I am?
where I'll end up or where I began?
can you tell me when the swallows leave
and if they'll guide me south?

I'll bury you deep, little swallow
I'll bury you deep, beneath the everblooming weeds
and the silent clouds will shed their tears for you

I'd carry you home, little swallow,
I'd carry you further than your small wings would have done
and sing you a song you'll never hear

guide me on my way into nowhere

the indifferent clouds are no airships
just indifferent clouds and I knew it all along
as I pointed my finger at their silhouettes

the indifferent clouds won't hear my mourning
the indifferent clouds won't hear my sigh nor my lament
they're just passer-bys

I lay in the grass in the garden
I lay in the grass like I did it as a child
just to watch the clouds
- and let the world go by hide

we're ordinary people doing ordinary things on an ordinary sunday afternoon

we crawled out of the basements craving for a light to shine on us to melt away the frost and let us bloom, and when delivered from the coldness that had made us numb we stood there waiting for our blossoms to unfold

but they remained all lifeless, they had withered long ago for too long we had our secrets kept untold.
now we're ordinary people doing ordinary things on an ordinary sunday afternoon hide

hold me fast
or I'll slip away
crashing my future
while I'm running from my past
but I can't stay...

hold me tight
or I'll go astray
I long for the next sunset
while still roaming through the night
on feet made of clay

break my neck
to make this go away
all stories have been told
so there is nothing more to say
and I can't stay
won't stay

oh you can't make a change
no you won't make a change
(but thanks for trying) hide

daybreak comes and makes me shiver
though I'm tightly wrapped in wool
the trees stand naked and embarrassed
against a sky all pale and cruel

and even though all is lifeless I
can't remember to have seen this wretched world so beautiful before

there's no sound except the hoar frosts's
crunch beneath my hurried stride
all the world, though cold and hostile
looks so peaceful all in white

and even though all is lifeless I
can't remember to have seen this wretched world so beautiful before

we are faintly moving shadows
we are blurry silhouettes
hands dug deep into our pockets
faces covered with our hats

and even though all is lifeless I
can't remember to have seen this wretched world so beautiful before hide

I woke up today
and went down to the bay
to drown all my memories, rinse out my mind
and then lie down among the other empty shells

lay down on the sand
with my thoughts out of hand
heard the waves break and whisper, washing secrets ashore
heard the wind at the cliffs singing songs of no return

I think the ocean stole
my watery soul
I think the ocean carried it away

I think the ocean stole
my watery soul
I think the ocean left me here astray

I'll wake up no more,
I make my bed on the shore
and the high tide will come with its cooling embrace and rock me to sleep

I think the ocean stole
my watery soul
I think the ocean carried it away

I think the ocean stole
my watery soul
I think the ocean left me here astray

I woke up today
and went down to the bay
to drown all my memories, rinse out my mind and then lie down among the other empty shells hide

my city lies sleeping
and breathes in her sleep
as shadows are creeping
through the streets and lanes
to the river deep

while buildings rise as others tumble
I can feel her body crumble
she curls up to lick her wound

my city lies sleeping,
and we are her dreams
she's silently weeping,
exhausted, exhausted she seems

walk the dark streets, seeking shelter
when she's frozen, will you melt her
the sidewalk's wet from ghostly tears

my city lies sleeping
and slowly, calmly beats her heart
there's no need for weeping
and that's, that's the place to start
and now, now's the time to start.

as clocks are ticking, pulse is speeding
through the gaping cracks she's bleeding
time's go by, the morning breaks

she wakes hide

like clouds of dust in stormy weather
like a falling leaf on its way down
whirling through the early afternoon

these are times that make me falter
make me stagger all along
holding my head in my hands
I think I'm gonna fall quite soon

hear the blackbirds sing their lovesongs
hear the magpies croak at dawn
listen to the nightingale's lament

spread my own wings, smooth my feathers
raise my own voice (though it scares me -
I always find the wrong words for the things I meant..)

little bird, your cage is open,
and a breeze is there to carry you
don't you hesitate

- but time is cruel, it bruised my pinions,
broke my will and choked my voice
now it is too late hide

of so many words to choose
I don't know which ones to use

for the things I need to say
the syllables just melt away

another year
comes floating by
now let us try

still I'm feeling strangely dull
like there is cotton wool inside my skull

but now I need, now I need
to wake up

another year
comes floating by
now let us try

this is not the end. hide